Your mailbox is full of condolence letters
for your sons
and unpaid bills
and report cards
and your son’s college bills.
Table’s still dirty from last night’s meatloaf
and rings untreated from where
your son forgot to use a coaster.
Cigar box is drying up
the litter box filling up quickly
food bowls going empty
remote battery running low.
Two boys in a different house with different people
wondering when they’ll see their rooms again
if they’ll see them again.
Your bitch of a mother finally distraught,
Your three brothers and father
for once without that smirk.
I cried at your wake,
your mother dampened my shoulder.
Your autistic bratty son wept real tears
instead of playing on his phone.
It’s the only time a lot of us
didn’t roll our eyes at you.
Maybe we wanted you to see it.
Dozens of people, maybe a hundred,
showing up to say
I’m sorry for your loss and
I hope you’re okay
to your family.
Not even half of them would’ve shown up
and ask if you were okay before this,
With bills unpaid and your eldest son
worried about financial aid.
No one offered to help before.
Your boyfriend your lover whatever he is
he’s also my father,
and he always came by and always laughed
never spent the night.
Overnight must’ve been too long away
from his children.
And you always wondered why he drove home.
I mean, maybe you both forgot
he had his own house until he remembered it.
Maybe you forgot about us, his kids,
who wouldn’t think of visiting you.
Dad was going to take you to bike week
like he does every year.
He would take you on vacation
like every year.
The way you were acting though?
Like you’re a diva with a broken nail?
You and your boys would’ve stayed behind.
Now pens and pencils and homework
sit half-finished on a
messy coffee table.
The kitchen counter’s covered
in junk mail
and old papers
and who knows what.
Dishes from last night
and maybe the night before
sit in the sink
waiting for you to clean them and put them to bed,
now they’re starting to smell.
You didn’t tell the boys to take out
the garbage and now
who’s going to tell them?
You’re sleeping in a different place
the dirt now just disturbed
to tuck you in.
your sons’ friends
are without a clue as how to feel.
My dad left a girl years ago
because he couldn’t see a future with her
and now he can’t have one with you either.