If Portland Was My Boyfriend

Jamie Kahn


If Portland was my boyfriend

He would wake me up every morning with a cup of coffee

That I would love even if it was too strong

And he would be charming

But not too charming


But not too hot

He might play the guitar

Or maybe he is a poet

If Portland was my boyfriend

He’d treat me right

At least at first

He’d take me hiking

And tell me how beautiful I look

Even with my short hair and tattoos that seemed to scare off every other boy

Because to him

I am conventionally attractive now

He would be funny

And well-read

And vegan

If Portland was my boyfriend

He’d probably be too cool for me

But I’d manage to get with him anyway